For a Cub Scout project, my little brother Jake has been keeping a record of everything he’s eaten this week. He really hates this, and making him do this has been a struggle.

But today beat all: I offered him some lunch, (a highly experimental dish with mashed potatoes, corn, cheese and sausage) and he said, “No thanks, because then I’d have to write it down.” And he kept walking. What a lazy bum.

I give this hunger strike it till 3.