sometimes i wonder what life would be like if i were an only child.
i wouldn't miss the siblings i never had. it would be quieter.

or what if i only had a couple siblings? would my parents be more involved? would we go on things that require having everyone capable of walking, like backpack trips? or art museums?

what if i wasn't the first kid? would i not have to try so hard? would i not get slammed so hard when i mess up? would i rise to the occasion, not set the bar? what if my parents actually knew what they were doing?